The secret life of a bored teenager

Before reading this, I’ll take the liberty to warn you that the content below is pure, unadulterated bullshit spewing forth from the fingers of the most bored teen on earth right now.

     Boredom has a way of twisting the mind till you’re in that place halfway  between dreams and reality because the situation is too imaginary to be real yet all your senses react the appropriate way to the situation. You following me? Good, good.

     So I’m sleeping, or awake, I’m not sure which so I’ll just assume I’m in that special place and I see myself outside the house. All seems normal but feels different till I realize it’s me. I’m driving in a car that just sped fast out of my house. This is crazy. If there were awards presented to suckers at different things. I would win a honourable mention for sucking at driving. So why am I driving?

     Still, I move on. Twenty minutes later, I stop at some club. It has the feel of one of those hip uptown clubs. Another problem. I’ve never been out clubbing. Is this a dream or not. It seems like a dream because it’s too unbelievable (given the current state of my existence) to be true, yet I feel the anticipation of partying hard building up in me. The music has never sounded clearer. And to top it off, #truefact both my parents are away.

     Well, I walk in..no no, sashay into the club. I’m met by my besty and her bf. Oh yeah. Where’s my bf? In real life, I’m single, but since it feels like a real dream, I may as well go all the way.  **I’ll stop here because the rest is censored**

     Long story short, I become fully awake (the next morning), yet I remember falling asleep at noon and I’m not one who naps for long stretches. But beat this. I wake up with all the telltale signs of my life-like dream I even have a headache and my hair looks glossier than normal.

***Now I really wake up***

**What’s happening to me?**

*Oh shit.. I know*

Boredom

***Thanks a lot, mum and dad.***

You know you love me

Xoxo..rUdE  gIrL

A letter to 30-year old me

Dear Me,

I hope you’re not all fat and fugly now. You should have a child by now. I hope your husband is HAWT! (Cough cough-I hope it’s you know who you ended up with) You know, we can’t afford our child being “not facially talented”. Hopefully, you should have a master’s degree from University of Michigan and have a good job as a reporter/journalist. I also hope you got to completing the project of turning a tangible creative idea into a book. If you haven’t gotten round to doing the CNN gig, you should get your lazy ass up now and get that job

I’m writing this letter to you listening to “Intoxicated-Jesse Jags”. Remember that? Sure you do. I’m having problem believing myself, but I hope you turned out confident and tres sexy. Also important, I hope Mr Abdulkareem, lol.loves his job and makes money from it. I really really hope your fashion sense has greatly improved, but you still have that hint of tom boyishness in you. Gawsh I’m really repeating the word hope a lot. Guess I have high expectation from you.

If you’re fat. HIT THE FUCKING GYM IMMEDIATELY. It doesn’t matter how much it costs. GET YOUR FAT ASS ON A TREADMILL. You should involve yourself in a lotta sports okay?

P.S: If you’ve lost contact with Tolu Mokuolu, FIND HER QUICKLY. I wish you get to do the sports interview thingy with Hazeez. Let’s see how he reacts to that. Tee hee. I don’t wanna run your life based on this letter, so I’m not gonna give anymore expectations. I know, a lotta things are gonna be changed by then, but I hope this letter gives you the inspiration and boost to get up and go achieve.

Don’t you dare tear up after reading this. HEAR HEAR

Your list of fave songs at 16

·         Gravity-Jason Derulo

·         Gravity-Sara Barielles

·         Airplanes-B.o.B

·         Sountrack for “A walk to remember”

·         Separate ways-Teddy Thompson (which by the way is playing right now)

I hope you have learnt that it doesn’t hurt to show a bit of emotion especially if you like someone. Okay?

Remember to always watch a romantic movie on Valentine ’s Day. It doesn’t matter if you’re with a boyfriend or not. You’re totally awesome on your own.

Get and read all the Nicholas Sparks novels okay? Hey, but do that before you get married.

Give the acting ish a shot. Who knows, you might actually win an Oscar, but don’t make it a career.

Bye hun

You know you love me

Xoxo..rUdE gIrL.

and I'm CRUSH-ed

          "Okay guys, well see till the next class. Make sure you drop your assignments before leaving." I stood up dropped the assignment and proceeded to continue my conversation with the cute guy I never noticed till well, till the last class of the semester and then it hit me like "dang girl, you've gotta crush on him." How convenient. The semester was almost over and I was too busy being miss single and loving it. shit. How could this happen? I had NEVER  crushed on anyone. Not once, not ever, so it was VERY overwhelming. How could it come at this highly delicate moment? Summer flirting was out of the question cuz we both resided in different areas. I was at crossroads. So, I decided to do something I've never ever done in my entire life. I decided to go for it, in this case, him. Twas time for some planning.
          Day One was a success. I conned him into asking for my phone number (yeessss) which I gladly gave forth. Btw its 080---***$£. Day one night, I succeeded again into spending some well not-so-quality time with the aforementioned personality. Geez why do single boys have to be so tight with each other? eesh. I never had a chance to have some real nice and cozy convo with cute crush. Dang, things were startn not to look so promising. Besides, I had only a few days to charm the socks off him. So, yours truly decided to yet another thing she has never done. Ask the male species for a tips. Here's some of the advice given:
1. Be nice and genuinely express care.
2. DO NOT stalk him...which I did not, btw
3. Find out the things he likes and talk bout them
4. Use your assets. That never fails to work on any male species.
5. Don't act like you know more than he does..even if you do.
6. and the golden rule...BE NICE..again..
          I managed to keep up my rules for well a day and a half. Then complication two came: he was a freaking introvert. Always cooped up inside and rarely made serious convo when I was in there. Mahn, I was getting pissed. WTF did it take to bring the dude out and have some fun. I knew he could be as crazy as hell, but why hadn't I seen the side. Plus, I was trying not to be too obvious, so moi decided to cut the visits. Maybe I didn't look nice enough, because I hadn't really gotten to the looking really nice part. I was still doing the whole jeans, top and , innocent expression thing. Besides, It was all part of the bigger plan, should things work out my way, hopefully.
          It was with such thoughts in my mind, I deicde to take the bold step. Call him and organize some kinna hang out n maybe end it with some fun(you get the drift)..Well, sadly. it was not meant to be. the subject in question apparently preferred to sleep than to talk..It hurt, but then I realized.It was a CRUSH. In most cases, one person woulda been CRUSH-ed....and that's my story. 

Awakening

         Thoughts from a paranoid

 Its all becoming clear now. Before, I was blind, wandering in the darkest pit of known ignorance thinking I was in the light. I was trapped, submerged in a self-created bubble. I was victim to my own lack of knowledge. I was a prisoner stuck in the fiery entrapment of self denial. I blamed it on lack of understanding not realizing I was  only extending my stupidity and naivety. I was in my own little world full of meaningless illusions about life, love and friendship. I thought I could handle it all, thought I had experience, thought I had made mistakes enough to choose my own path and be satisfied, but I was only just beginning. I had barely scratched the surface of phrase "life's experiences". I was a self made and imposed queen of hearts. no ace of spades could touch me. I was impenetrable, the almost-perfect human being. I hated mistakes, and so rarely made them.

          I was in an endless void of self loathing. I moved subconsciously through each day led by my primitive and myopic beliefs. Nothing that made sense to me was supposed to make sense to anyone else. I was the perfect specimen or was on the way to becoming one. 

          Now I am awake. I see the harsh reality of life like a rude glare of lights on my face after years of darkness. The world is a new place to me. I look forward to living life and making the most out of the little moments that make us who we really are. I am on a journey of self discovery. I know now that I should not be afraid to take risks for of what worth is life if everything goes according to plan? My eyes are wide open I see the beauty and ugliness that is life. I see the simplicities and complexities of humans and life itself. I see the good, bad, and ugly, but will that deter me anymore? no it will not because I am refreshed, I am a new person, I have emerged from the cocoon of deep ignorance and accepted the truth-I am unique-just like everyone else. I have been awakened...

                                                           You know you love me

                                                                 xoxo..rUdE gIrL

understanding women-every man's issue

For every male...and female??? who has been given a hard time by a female 

          "and from the rib of man did God create woman". Yeah, just one of God's numerous wonders. so why do men have such hard times understanding women? Women are like creatures on display for the world to see. We do not understand them so we attempt to watch their behavioural patterns to see if we can figure them out. If your'e a guy and you think this method works...YOU LIE.. Women rarely mean what they say. They always find ways to mask what they mean under the cover of the opposite and expect you to figure it out. Women expect you to work hard for them. Women expect you to treat them right. Even if they pretend to be all independent and capable, what they really want is a man who spends on them and this is not some stupid cliché. Women want to be made to feel beautiful. Women expect to be always right even if they know there not. Women like words first and looks next. Women want to dump not to be dumped. No matter how much a female seems to like flings and unattached'open relationships, deep inside lurks a girl who wants to be wanted by a man. And even though they lie and lie about their non-believe in the existence of prince charming and love, they all want to believe it. Women hate to face reality. when women are sad, they want everyone around to go into the deep blue funk there submerged in.......women women women...to be continued

You know you love me

xoxo..rUdE gIrL:P

zzaap...ure not getting anywhere

          Mum and dad are getting a divorce, I'm still in the middle stages of getting over my latest emotional screw-up, my best friends hate each other and I'm stuck with the duty of making them feel just as important as the other. The source of my heartbreak seems to have clearly moved on leaving me desperate to do the same just as quickly, My "A's" are becoming "A-'s". As I always do, I sit down, analyse the situation and plan the method of execution of the solution. 
          I'l make my mum and dad remember the reason they fell in love in the first place. I'l sit my friends down and tell them how much they are hurting me by being douche bags and expecting me to be the only mature one. I'l try to be more friendly towards my screw-up partner so hopefully, the little strings will become friendship strings. I'l cut down my fun time and solve my academic crisis. I mean, I have it all under control, I'm super-female in the making. I've been doing this since I could reason, this'l be so easy.
          A month later: The parent trap seems to be succeeding. My dad and mum seem so comfortable with each other now. There's no more hurtful words and screams. My friends are on sync. My studies rock. My screw-up and I are fast becoming friends. See? I knew I could solve it. I'm the shit, no doubt about that. I was in for a shocker:
          My parents tell me they are still getting a divorce, but thanks to me, they are friends. My besties I worked so hard for cook up a scandal about me. My screw-up just kissed a girl in front of me and it hurt because he didn't have enough respect to do it when I wasn't in sight. The only consolation I have is my books that are still going fine now. I was standing so unprepared when it hit me. It hit me so hard I burst into tears: I WAS A FAILURE. I COULD NOT SOLVE MY PROBLEMS. I WAS A SCREW-UP.
          It took me a big mistake to learn this, but I did. You can't solve all your problems. The best you can do is hope you have tried your best and watch the rest happen. \there's a good chance it'l be messed up, but you only make it worse when you try to stop it. It's like those "final destination" movies where you try to stop death and end up failing woefully where the only place you have time to ponder on what went wrong is six feet under where you'l end up either way. 
          I was living in a bubble. For too long ,I wallowed in self denial. I'm coming clean now. Yes, my parents are getting divorced. Yes I'm not completely over him even if he seems to be over me and the thought hurts that I'm the only one suffering. Yes, my besties are at loggerheads and want me to be there for em both, I'l try to be as much as I can. My books-well that's pretty self explanatory. I WILL FACE REALITY AND STOP LIVING A LIE.
          I'm awake. I cannot believe I just dreamt, but it's still reality. My parents are still clawing at each other, my besties still hate each other, I still miss my screw-up and (oh I hate to say this)-I still have an "A-". I'l be fine, I know and tell myself. I'l take it slow, one day at a time...or maybe not??? (old habits die hard o)
                                                  You know you love me
                                                     xoxo...rUdE gIrL
          

Gravity

  I love this song, so I thought sharing it would be a good idea...hope it is..                
         Gravity-Sara Bareilles
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long
No matter what I still do
Still feel you here till the moment I'm gone
You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and in your rage


Set me free
Let me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am
And I'l stand
So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're unto me
All over me


You loved me because I'm fragile
And I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone


Set me free
Let me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am
And I'l stand
So tall just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're unto me
And all over me


I live here on my knees as I
Try to make you see that you're
Everything you think I need
Here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe though I
Can't seem to let you go
The one thing you have to know
Is that you're
keeping me down low.
yeah yeah yeah yeah


You're onto me and on to me and all over
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long.


          You know you love me
                 xoxo-rUdE gIrL:P