Thoughts from a paranoid
Its all becoming clear now. Before, I was blind, wandering in the darkest pit of known ignorance thinking I was in the light. I was trapped, submerged in a self-created bubble. I was victim to my own lack of knowledge. I was a prisoner stuck in the fiery entrapment of self denial. I blamed it on lack of understanding not realizing I was only extending my stupidity and naivety. I was in my own little world full of meaningless illusions about life, love and friendship. I thought I could handle it all, thought I had experience, thought I had made mistakes enough to choose my own path and be satisfied, but I was only just beginning. I had barely scratched the surface of phrase "life's experiences". I was a self made and imposed queen of hearts. no ace of spades could touch me. I was impenetrable, the almost-perfect human being. I hated mistakes, and so rarely made them.
I was in an endless void of self loathing. I moved subconsciously through each day led by my primitive and myopic beliefs. Nothing that made sense to me was supposed to make sense to anyone else. I was the perfect specimen or was on the way to becoming one.
Now I am awake. I see the harsh reality of life like a rude glare of lights on my face after years of darkness. The world is a new place to me. I look forward to living life and making the most out of the little moments that make us who we really are. I am on a journey of self discovery. I know now that I should not be afraid to take risks for of what worth is life if everything goes according to plan? My eyes are wide open I see the beauty and ugliness that is life. I see the simplicities and complexities of humans and life itself. I see the good, bad, and ugly, but will that deter me anymore? no it will not because I am refreshed, I am a new person, I have emerged from the cocoon of deep ignorance and accepted the truth-I am unique-just like everyone else. I have been awakened...
You know you love me
xoxo..rUdE gIrL
