Okay, fellow bloggers so I absolutely dunno what to write but whatever it is in my head that has no credible language definitely shared meaning with emotional bullshit or whatever it is we girls think of when we watch a movie or see a real life situation. Yeah yeah whatever, before I get lost in my usual ranting and get all confused and muddled up. So erm, here goes:
Where do I start? Okay. So a few days ago, I saw the movie “eclipse”, the third instalment in the twilight saga. Basically, what struck me first were these three words “Bella is one dumb asshole of a female”. More than three words? I know. Bite me. Then I thought, naa I’m being too judgemental. So I decided to spend a whole day watching romantic movies ranging from comedies (jab we met) to sad( a walk to remember) to downright dumb(when in rome). They all had one unique feature. All the leading men were “imperfectly perfect”. Their flaws were so tailored, they became cute little features. And then it struck me. The writers of this movie simply decided to put the dreams of more than half the females of this world in to paper and film..and it worked, but here are some few tips I wanna give out. Just in case we missed them while being sidetracked by the movie’s love schmuck. Not that I’m complaining
· Team Edward fans of twilight. First off..VAMPIRES HAVE NOT BEEN PROVEN TO EXIST SO GIVE UP ALL HOPE OF LOOKING 17 FOR THE NEXT 200 YEARS. Also, if vampires did exist and exhibit the famous quality of drinking blood only, you will never find a vampire that is a vegetarian o. One day, hunger go catch them and they go feed on you. (thumbs up to HBO’s true blood for proving that as good as bill Compton is, he still feeds from sookie stackhouse).
· On vampires again (P.S: I have no beef wiv em ) they can never be completely human so, don’t try to believe they ever will be
· Team Jacob fans, as much as I love Jacob black and Taylor Lautner, I know one thing, buff teenage boys/slash werewolves are again I repeat HAVE NO PROOF OF EXISTENCE. And if they did..oh shit I’m biased bout this part so I’m just gonna stop here.
· I am a huge fan of sad romantic stories because I believe that true love doesn’t last till both of yall grow old. At least not with the male species of today. So, I like them because the love is short-live and almost believable, but. If you’re ready to die or face someone die after you share one summer. Fine...DREAM ON!!
· The worst of em all..Love stories that have happy endings. Have you ever considered what happens after the “honeymoon period”. Yall will notice that the flow of most romantic comedies are thus (meeting—attraction--flirting and fronting (in some cases)-mutual acknowledgement of attraction--they almost kiss—or kiss, depending on the movie--problem arrives (usually caused when one fucks up based on something bad about him/her which they both knew was existent in him/her when they first met—sad part with all the sad songs to make us feel they depth of their sadness(it’s all music people!!)—realization that the other means so much to him/her (in most cases him realizes he cannot live without her and goes after her)—some long speech about feelings and a few laughs or tears—THEY FINALLY KISS OH or if kissing took place before, they solidify their relationship....so wgat happens after happily ever after....take note ladies
· KISSES ARE REHEARSED. They are not made perfect in one take....so will MTV viewers not vote Bella and Edward next year for best on screen kiss again..I don tire o. Even R.Pattinson said they have to cut over and over again.P’S: THAT is a lotta saliva.
I’m too hooked up to a song right now to think of anymore reasons
See ya
You know you love me
XoxO...rUdE gIrL
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